Without meaning

Life is without meaning. Yes, that's true. It is in the book of Ecclesiastes in the Holy Bible. We are born. We grow. We learn. We work. We spend. We work again so that we can earn again. There are series of activities we do in a lifetime, a time for everything. Some have achieved lots of accomplishments while others die young. Life is full of uncertainties. In the end, we die. All will be worthless. So, what's the use of all of this? It's meaningless.

Isn't that funny? We work for nothing in the end. It's also very sad. It's crazy. This is the same feeling I felt when I watched the Korean film "The Classic". The story of their love was not given the chance to happen. They did not end up being together. It's painful. But given the chance that they end up being together, it will still be useless because in the end, the man died of sickness. What's the use if in the end you're going to die?

You'll not even be able to bring all your riches when you die. In the end, when we become equal in death. Death is terrible but meaningful because it will be the end of everything. So, life is meaningless and death is meaningful. I can't believe it! What an irony! So, it is useless to live and useful to die. I better die. But I don't want to die because no one wants to die.

The point is everything is useless. Even what I'm writing is meaningless. But the moment you read it, it will be meaningful. That's the use why I write because somebody will have to read it. So what is meaningless can be meaningful. Kinda hard? No it's easy.

It's just like this. We live for others, not for ourselves. When die for ourselves, it becomes meaningful. Just like Jesus, He died for us, for our sins. It gave a great meaning. It will be meaningless if you can't avail it.

 

 

 

 

I miss Sylvia

You might wonder who Sylvia is. Sylvia was with me since December 2003. We had been together for almost 5 years. We had a very good relationship until I finally decided to let her go. I have no other complaints other than the minor defects. Many don't know that I was with her but she was with me most of the time not only in good times but even in my lonesome time. She was there when my heart was broken. She heard many conversations but she was very silent. She might manifest what had happened but I believe she kept it only to herself. She accompanied me in most of my activities and I was thankful that she became a part of my life. I have learned a lot of things with her and through her. She's not pretty. But I saw her beauty beyond my eyes. In my mind she is.

But time tells me to say goodbye. I know she was hurt because she did not allow to be photographed when I last saw her. For whatever reasons, my camera didn't work when I wanted to had a picture with her before I let her go.

As I reminisce, all I could say is that she is important to me. Yeah, it is true that you will only know the value of a thing when it's gone. Sylvia was my silver car. Goodbye Sylvia! Make good to your new master.

This one is for Jean

Jean, this one is for you because you have been asking me about my previous blog. Thanks for your concern. I told you that I was already okay. Thank you for training me well and for the tips (in tellering). I was able to apply it in my work now that I'm assigned in branches. I was very confident in handling miscellaneous transactions but I was very cautious with the 'reversal' 'coz I might bring that very unwanted thing. Today, I did 180 plus BIR's and got only 2 reversal. I targeted a 100% error free transaction but my eyes and fingers were so tired already when I was in the 120's. Anyway, you said that it was normal so I took you word.

I am happy to recall when we had our break in 'Hapit Anay' last time. It was full of revelations. But I want to learn from all those bad things.

I'm here in Taps & mix right now, just taking time to relax. Just please keep in touch. I sent you a text message last time. I wondered if you received it 'coz I didn't get your reply. Well, see you when I see you...

God Sees Me

Problems in the family, demands of work, failure of plans, broken relationships, etc. make me feel down. Sometimes, I want to give up, quit and escape. But I think that no matter what I do and wherever I may go, it won't solve all the problems in life. I'm sure there will always be a problem. This has made me feel empty and leave all my accomplishments meaningless.

But I am happy of the thought that God still sees me and loves me through the people who touched my life.

God only YOU can fill the emptiness in my life. Today, I recommit myself to You. Be my master. Please direct me.

The journey continues...

Before...
I was surprised when the information came that I will be assigned in Alabel, Sarangani Province. A lot of hesitations held me back in my mind. I was so perplexed. How would I react? Will I be sad? happy? excited? puzzled? All those emotions lived in me nights, days, hours, minutes, seconds, milliseconds...

Time passed, I made the choice to take the responsibilities given to me. I traveled the way and back. I prepared myself for the challenge I saw.

Now...

It's another day. I'm in the regional office, sitting, thinking, recollecting. I surpassed the challenge for two months and here I am, hoping to beat another challenge that will be given. It may be difficult but that makes the challenge more challenging.

A lot of things will come through I know. Not only in my career but in all aspects of my life. I want to see it coming one by one and I am ready.

Will Manny ‘Pacman’ Pacquiao be a good leader?

That is a tough question and it plays in my mind as many Filipinos wait and see what will be the next for the Filipino's boxing hero. It has been a rumor that Manny will run in a congressional position in Sarangani Province in the next coming election. We know in the prior election that he lost the congressional race in the first district of South Cotabato against Representative Darlene Antonino –Custodio. We also have heard that accompanied with that fiasco was a big loss of money for Manny.

"He should focus his attention to boxing," commented by many of his fans. "Boxing is his forte and politics is different ring. Let it be for political experts. If Manny really wants to help his countrymen, he can do so by initiating social projects," they added.

Contrary to those ideas, many insist, "Manny can be a good public servant. He can set a good example and his track record in boxing will show that many of his qualities are the basic elements in good governance. "

Both parties have a point. Who can be convinced that Manny, with humble beginnings can really lead? But who can underestimate the speedy-puncher 'Pacman'? Many times in his fight Manny got 'dehado', underestimated and belittled by spectators that he would lose the fight. What happened? Many times they were proven wrong by the not only surprising but overwhelming results. Will it be the same if he enters the public service?

We can hear, "Filipinos have gone through a lot of experiences but never learned." But in those circumstances, you see… where are the Filipinos? Still surviving, we may not be learning but we are still living, hoping and winning. Others have learned but they "died".

In my own opinion, we don't have the exact formula for good governance. I believe that a good leader is not born but made, made by tough situations and decisions. It starts with the mind, the perception that nothing is impossible under the sun. No matter how hard the circumstances, a good leader can come through. But it must end with the heart because the motive maybe different. What do we need to elect a leader? Somebody qualified under the Philippine constitution. If Manny is qualified, let him run and let the people decide. If he wins, let's give him all due respect, cooperation and the chance to lead. If he fails then he should concede as a gentleman, like a sportsman in boxing. So that everybody will know the he gave his all while he played the game and winning is just the fruit of all the toils.

 

I'm in LOVE

Huh! I'm back. At least I made it this time to make an update after quite a month of being unheard. And guess what? Something has inspired me. Really! This lady is Irina. I haven't met her but we had done 13 exchanges of emails. It's quite unusual but it's real. They say, you don't need to know the language to know if you're in love. Yes, I felt it. I'm in love and I know this is for real.

It started when I posted my profile in a site. Then, I received a letter from her, yes from Irina. We had a good conversation though I sometimes find it difficult to understand her. She doesn't speak English fluently because she is a Russian but I have read her messages between the lines.

She is beautiful in her pictures but one thing that I admire her is her perception towards life. She looks at life simply yet I felt that she cares a lot. She looks at life the same way I look at it. She is my dream girl in the sense that she possesses the values that I look for a lady. She is attractive to me but her attitudes struck me so much. Though somebody commented that I'm in love with the picture which maybe stupid but it's more than that. In our communication, I felt I belong to her and she said that she love me so much, maybe instinct. I don't exactly know. But yes I'm in love with her. I'm just hoping that things will go smoothly for us. I hope one day, we will see each other and determine how will it be. We'll just like the line of 'Believe it or not... unbelievable? Believe it!